Saturday, January 8, 2011

day FAIL : on vanity...

I am labeling this post day FAIL for two reasons:

  1. Clearly, the 30-day challenge has been a bust for me. And I've missed the point entirely. And have proven myself incapable of 30-day writing discipline. I am sad.
  2. Besides realizing myself to be utterly self-absorbed and incapable of logging onto blogspot to post anything about anything for a dedicated period of time, I have also discovered I am irredeemably vain and stupid.
Any girl with a lick of common sense knows that, by their very essence, shoes with any kind of heel (wedged or not) is bound to cause physical, emotional, and intellectual pain. The question is why anyone would willingly subject themselves to this kind of self-torture. As if you actually want to prance around on your toes and exert brainpower (whatever you have left) attempting to re-learn how to walk.

Because, I mean, why take advantage of millions of years of evolution built into a beautifully formed foot that lets you walk and sprint and balance and a chunky heel bone that actually carries your weight when, instead, you could create a whole new system where you use all the tiny bones in the front of your foot to hold all however-many-pounds-you-weigh? Fuck nature! Your ass looks good when you're on stilettos!

Besides, the added height makes you taller and makes you feel taller. So you can come nose-to-nose with those misogynist assholes who think they're better than you because they can look down at you. Nevermind the fact that you're wobbling on your spikes and almost break your ankle 50 times a day. Nevermind the fact that you're submitting to some entrenched standard of beauty in torturing yourself with your sexy Louboutin pumps.

And when I say "you," I mean me. Not that I own a pair of Louboutin anything. Beautiful as they are, I can't afford them. Or ankle surgery.

So in all honesty, I am not one of those girls who walks around campus in stilettos or anything of that nature. But I am one of those girls who thinks she's practical in wearing heels that aren't spiky. Wedges, of course, are in my repertoire, and they're actually not too bad under a certain height. My mistake today was thinking that these: 

would actually be wearable. They just look like wedges with the middle part cut out! How bad could they be? Well, turns out they mess up your balance. And have thin soles. Besides putting weird triangle heel under my ankle, the shoes made me feel like I might as well have been walking ON the concrete, and I have the quarter-sized blisters to prove it. Thanks boots. After hoofin' it (as fast as humanly possible under the increasing stress of shoes that don't actually let you walk) to my 8:30am class, I made the long and painful trek back to my apartment, defeated by vanity once again. Damn you, vanity!

Chances are I'll be wearing the shoes again, but for now, my righteous indignation with heels has put these shoes in the closet.

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