I confess. I have a problem.
I've seen that movie with Isla Fisher, Confessions of a Shopaholic, and I'm sad to say that I identify with her character, although I don't think my problem is as extreme as hers.
I've seen Chanel and Dior on the runway - I'm actually kindof a fan of Givenchy and Valentino, I think - but those kind of items are way way way out of my price range, and I wouldn't even dream of clicking past the online shopping cart to commit myself to credit suicide. Suffice to say, I've never gathered the courage to actually walk into a real live store to gawk at these things-I-want-but-cannot-have. I'm convinced my lack of purchasing power would emanate from my pores. And it wouldn't be the first time I'd gotten called out for being a plebe: once I strolled into a Saks Fifth Avenue with a Coach bag on my shoulder and, god bless his heart, a chicly dressed "sales associate" came out from behind his pretty glass counter to ask whether I was looking for a bathroom. Thanks, perfume sales guy.
Then again, it probably didn't help that I'd been otherwise dressed head-to-toe in Old Navy tank top, shorts, and rubber flip-flops. But still.
In fear of future such encounters, I've directed my energies into online shopping and clearance whoring. Old Navy, Gap, DSW, Victoria's Secret, New York & Company, and Express are all regular targets in my cyberquest for great deals. I'm one of those people who spends hours browsing, adding, and removing items from my virtual shopping cart, only to close out the window without purchasing anything. I'll even go so far as to enter my shipping information and redeem any coupons I might have before fleeing the site. And when I say I spend hours in this ultimately fruitless exercise, I mean hours every day.
It's phenomenally unproductive. Not to mention a huge waste of my time. Today, for example, I had a midterm to study for. It's happening in less than 12 hours. For a solid hour and a half, I clicked around the clearance section of Victoriassecret.com, trying to put together a cart full of merchandise that was just over $100 so I could get free shipping. Because, more than anything else in the world, I hate paying for shipping. Especially when it could be free. Luckily, I just happened to have a coupon code good for free shipping on orders over $100. Why? Because I decided I might as well have a VS Angel card for all those purchases I make at VS (their underwear, you must admit, is excellent). I think that puts my credit card count at just over a dozen.
Ridiculous? Probably. I don't even want to start on how many pairs of shoes I have.